Many singles are dating on "Tinder tired"
Last updated on 22 Jun 2021
While the taboos associated with online dating are long gone, some of today's app users are tired of the endless swiping and virtual penmanship that leads nowhere when it comes to long-term relationships.
The attitude toward online dating is closer to the end of the decade, when some people have become "truthful." (Source: Thinkstock Image) While the taboos around online dating are long gone, some of today's app users are tired of the endless swiping and virtual penmanship that leads nowhere when it comes to long-term relationships, according to industry leaders who are responding with new ways to get users away from their phones and to meet people in the real world.
David Vermeulen is one such leader. His Inner Circle, launched in 2012, curates users looking for meaningful connections, and he holds offline events in cities around the world to help make that happen among his more than 2 million members. He said that towards the end of the decade, when some people became Tinder, he saw a big shift in the field of online dating."
They're really looking for something more serious now, something more authentic, Vermeulen said.
Justin McLeod, who launched Hinge in 2011, shares Vermeulen's view that dating apps should focus on getting people offline. Hinge's tagline is an app "meant" to be deleted.
In 2016, Hinge intentionally removed the swipe option to encourage more interaction. When told that people felt overwhelmed by the number of options, they created the "most compatible" feature. This, he said, "really helps people focus and go out on dates faster."
Inner Circle plans to add a "Let's Meet" button to speed up the app's path to an actual date.
If you both click on it, you can choose the days and places that we suggest and then you can go on a date very quickly. And I mean, go have a cup of coffee. I mean that's the first step. But it's a pretty big step for a lot of people, and we've tried to make it a lot easier, Vermeulen said.
His app also plans to add an auto-response to anyone who just says "hello" as an introduction, which he says is often a dead end for dating.
- We'll say, okay, that's not a good start to a conversation. You have to do better than that, Vermeulen said.
It's not just a new generation of apps adapting to the changing dating relationship. OkCupid is one of the original dating sites created by two Harvard University graduates in 2004. It started life as a desktop website and evolved into an app with the advent of smartphones. Today, OkCupid has the ability to set up 50,000 dates per week.
The site imposes certain restrictions to try and weed out those who aren't interested in getting that date. The company insists that users post more than one photo and view a list of localized timely questions before a profile can be created. So if you thought you shouldn't talk politics or religion on a first date, it looks like the tide is turning. Users can filter based on their views on climate change to Brexit.
In the US, we can ask you how you feel about the upcoming election? We can tell you if you can date someone who didn't vote - said Melissa Hobley, global marketing director for OkCupid.
According to a Pew Research Center survey conducted last year, 4 in 10 Dutch people had used a dating site or app, and 23% were married or in a serious relationship with someone they met through online dating. Hobley said one of the most exciting developments as digital dating moves into the 2020s is in emerging markets, including India, Indonesia, Turkey, Thailand, Malaysia, Japan and South Korea, where dating has not always been so easy.
In India, for example, a new generation of women "are going to college and they're working and they're saying arranged marriage is not for me and I want to be able to find my own identity and my marriage is a choice I make," she said. Hobley has also made strides in inclusion and support for the LGBTQ community, creating a safe space to express gender and sexual preferences and meet potential partners.
"An estimated 70 to 80 percent of LGBTQ relationships begin with a dating app," she said. For Hobley, the love doesn't stop there. She said she receives an average of five to 20 wedding letters and invitations a week.
"I'll crash your wedding," she joked, "but we'll also send a gift.
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